i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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