So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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