sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
