Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
