But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
