Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
