she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
