D3 body, D1 cock
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
