There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
