All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
