Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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