dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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