I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
