You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
