we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
