you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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