Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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