You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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