i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He shit in the fireplace
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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