It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
