I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
