Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
