Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
