Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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