i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
