You just made me feel so damn special
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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