I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
