when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
