No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
