apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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