Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize