i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
