apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
