This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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