D3 body, D1 cock
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
