Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Randomize
