Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
