I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
