My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I want her autograph on my taint
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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