That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
