It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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