You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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