Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
