Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
