you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
