i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
