i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
