Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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