im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
