Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
