Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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