I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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