I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
