how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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