Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
