Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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