how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's official drugs can't kill me
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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