Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
