have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
