So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
