Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
